她在无声世界里“努力学说话”

风刀霜剑

　　打开直播软件，与所有90后的美女主播一样，蕾欧娜每日的功课是和屏幕前的观众见面问好、聊天说话：叙旧拉家常，卖萌讲段子，发起猜歌挑战绕口令，或者干脆甩个真人版表情包，偶尔“一言不合”还会直接来段“尬舞”。
　　但她说话的方式却和其他主播都不一样：发音大多只有平音，似乎还有点儿“大舌头”。
　　“你可以去看一下我的公告”，被问多了，蕾欧娜选择用关键词在简介里首先坦白自己——“后天聋哑”“是听障”“在努力学说话”。这个在镜头前总是梳着两个丸子头的年轻女孩，实际上是位后天聋哑人。因为直播时“元气满满”颇具正能量，蕾欧娜被网友称为主播界的一股“清流”，开播不久粉丝就冲破了10万+。
　　一场高烧让她丧失听觉
　　为了活出精彩报名表演班参加选美大赛
　　婴儿时期的一场高烧让她从此丧失听觉，直到8岁，蕾欧娜都不会说话。小时候，因为对声音没有任何概念，她只能花更多的力气去模仿。一只手按着自己的脖子，一只手按着家人或老师的脖子，从汉语拼音第一个字母的四个声调开始，一边捕捉喉咙的振动，一边努力记下口型。
　　再长大点儿，每天的晨读就成了她最煎熬的时刻，语文课文要一个字一个字地大声念出来;放学回家，家人也会督促，要放弃省力的手语，“时时刻刻不停地说话”。
　　蕾欧娜也曾想钻进大多数人的轨道，按部就班地工作生活。她被送去普通的幼儿园，别人发言打闹，她却总是重复“啊啊啊”，多数时候只能傻笑，结果被小朋友说成哑巴;特殊教育大专毕业后，她也尝试过财务方面的工作，听得吃力想让同事帮忙翻译，对方却直接丢过来一句，“这些你不需要知道”。
　　蕾欧娜曾经很抑郁。为了避免麻烦，她一度独来独往，没事的时候宁可选择窝在家里看电视玩手机。“那时候我很羡慕演员，他们可以这么随意就说很多话，而且还演得好。”通过每天不间断地练习，16岁的时候，蕾欧娜终于可以张口就来一段“很溜儿”的自我介绍。
　　为了“活得更出彩”，她开始报名表演班学习绕口令，逐渐改掉了结巴的毛病;想要积攒更多的自信，她又不断地参加世界级的选美大赛，世界聋人小姐先生大赛中国区冠军、世界旅游形象小姐全国15强等光环随之而来。
　　为追寻演员梦变身主播
　　鼓励和自己经历相似的网友
　　抱着“能流利聊天、有机会多说话锻炼自己”的想法，蕾欧娜偶然地踏进了主播的大门，她把这当作是追寻演员梦的开始。“我之前也犹豫过，怕做不好，比如说话肯定没普通人好;但后来想我可以做好自己，展现真实的一面，‘逗’‘表情帝’‘尬歌尬舞’各种各样。”
　　开直播前，蕾欧娜没想过自己能“火”。关注度逐渐增高后，一些不和谐的声音也冒了出来：你这样说话是故意的吗?你是为了炒作吗?蕾欧娜晒出了残疾人证，她说自己没怎么生气，反而有些开心——“我已经能很正常地说话了”。
　　聚光灯下，蕾欧娜的舞台越来越大。她习惯了给大家展示新学的舞蹈，也常常被人夸赞跳得真好。跨入一个完全陌生的领域，背后需要付出的可想而知：戴紧助听器，再把小音箱开到最大，一边数拍子一边看视频“扒动作”，可能10遍，也可能100遍。
　　走下舞台，生活中的她还是时常会回到之前那个“尴尬的世界”：马路上掉了手机，后面的行人喊破喉咙也感受不到，直到发现屏幕已经被碾成碎片;睡觉时摘下助听器，一切恢复安静，除了把手机调到最强振动和被家人叫醒，实在太容易直接睡过头。
　　变成“网红”后，蕾欧娜最明显的感受是一下多了“好多好多好多”朋友。她现在的世界里，一半是聋哑人，一半是普通人。在直播平台和微博上，她经常回复和自己经历相似的网友，鼓励对方“学说话不难，难就难在坚持不懈”。
　　从开直播的第一天起，蕾欧娜就一直梳着两个丸子头的造型。虽然一直打着“元气主播”的旗号，但她却表示并没有经过太多的考量和策划，“我本来就是按照自己的性格去直播的啦”。现在，蕾欧娜不介意自己“和别人不一样”，但她希望能被大家当成一个普通人，“是一个很努力的普通人”。
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